My Encounter with Robert Garwood, Part I
Part I of a Two Part Series
For those people who still belive, who still search for loved ones who never returned home, I hope one day they find the answers they deserve.
Prelude
These are the known facts about Robert:
In the summer of 1965, 19 year old Marine PFC Robert Russell Garwood served as a staff driver for the G-2 Intelligence section of the Third Marine Division in Da Nang, South Vietnam.
On September 28, with just 10 more days to complete his tour in Vietnam, Robert Garwood left the base and subsequently fell into the hands of the Viet Cong. During the remainder of the time US Forces were actively involved in South Vietnam, Robert was spotted by U.S. Prisoners Of War (POW) in various camps. Robert Garwood was not among the POWs sent back to the US when POWs were repatriated after hostilities between the US and North Vietnam was concluded.
On 9 February 1979 the U.S. State department was informed that on 1 February, Mr. Ossi Rahkonen, a Finnish national who worked for the World Bank headquarters in Washington, had been passed a note in the Thang Loi (Victory) Hotel in Hanoi by PFC Robert Russell Garwood, USMC.
PFC Garwood subsequently returned to the United States and subsequently tried by military court martial under articles of the UCMJ. ON 5 February 1981 PFC Garwood was found guilty on five specifications:
- That he served as an interpreter for the enemy.
- That he was camp "mole" and informed on his fellow American POWs to the VC and NVA;
- That he interrogated US POWs about military topics, including planning for any escapes;
- That he helped indoctrinate POWs and suggested that they "cross over" to the enemy as he had done
- That he had served as a guard for the enemy over his fellow US POWs.
He was ordered reduced to Private (E1), given a dishonorable discharge from the USMC, and forced to forfeit all back pay and allowances of almost $150,000.
On 3 June 1985 the Court of Military Appeals upheld Garwood's court-martial conviction for offenses committed from 1965 – 1969. On 2 December 1985 the Supreme Court announced that it had declined to take the case of United States v. Robert R. Garwood. Case closed. (1)
What Robert actually did during the years he was in Vietnam has been the subject of extreme controversy ever since his return. There is more controversy surrounding events he has been involved in since returning to the U.S. But what is not controversial is what happened during my personal encounter with him.
In October, 1999, Robert Garwood and his wife Cathi purchased the house next door to mine in the small town of Gautier, Mississippi. Without knowing anything about him other than he was a new neighbor and recent widower, I welcomed him and treated him as a friend. Within two years, Robert would destroy my marriage, attempt to smear me with the most vile lies I've ever been a victim of, and generally turn my life upside down.
(1) References:
Chapter 1
In October of 1999 my wife, Marilou, and I had been together 14 years and married for 13.
Marilou was raised in a suburb of Manila, Republic of the Philippines, in a very conservative Catholic household. She earned a nursing degree in one of the better Manila colleges, and was board certified Public Health Nurse at the time she left the Philippines. We met shortly after she immigrated to San Diego and married 20 months later. Being raised in traditional Philippines custom, she had limited experience with dating prior to our courtship.
Due to needs of the navy we were separated several times during our first ten years of marriage. We had purchased our Gautier, Mississippi, house in November 1993 near the end of my 22-year navy career. I spent the next two years as a geographical bachelor living aboard my ship home ported in Hawaii while Marilou tended the home fires in Gautier. I retired, returned to Gautier, and by October 1999 was still learning how to be a civilian.
We had a nice house on a one acre partially wooded lot backing onto a freshwater bayou, at the end of a street cul-de-sac. We were in a peaceful neighborhood in a quiet Mississippi Gulf Coast town. This was exactly what Marilou and I wanted for our post-navy life. We had had some rocky years since I retired as I learned to be a civilian, and attempted to build a career in an area where jobs for my skills were scarce. But I never had any reason to think our marriage was in irreparable trouble.
The house next door to our right also backed onto the bayou. There was a lot of brush along our respective property line following a drainage ditch, which provided privacy between the houses. There was a path through the brush and over the ditch connecting the two properties that made it easy to walk between the back yards, should someone choose to. With the brush and short road frontage, our backyards were completely private from street view and other neighbors.
The owners had had built the next-door house and had been living there since 1974 as one of the first people in our sub-division. In the summer of 1999 the husband developed a serious gambling habit, resulting in running up so much debt they were forced to sell. The house was sold and they started moving out in late October, 1999. By early January the house was vacant.
I saw Robert Garwood for the first time with his wife Cathi in late January of 2000 as the new owners of that house next door. Robert and Cathi inspected the house and property, took some video, and left without talking to any neighbors.
I next met Robert, now a widow, on a Friday afternoon in late April. The house had been vacant for over three months and there was intense neighborhood speculation about the new owners. This particular Friday morning a moving truck appeared at the house along with a large RV and small armada of vehicles. While I was in the backyard performing my normal off-Friday yard chores (my work schedule was alternating Fridays off) Marilou wandered out front to watch the movers.
I came out front in the early afternoon and Marilou introduced me to Robert. She had been apparently talking with him for some time while he supervised movers. Robert and I chatted for a few moments before he rushed off. After he left, Marilou started telling me about him, wide-eyed and in hushed whispers. She told me his wife had just passed away of cancer, unexpected. She also said that Robert was a famous Hollywood movie producer coming here to retire and perhaps make movies in Gautier. She told me Robert claimed to know a lot of big-time producers and actors back in Hollywood.
She was almost breathless and her face was flushed; I had never seen her act like that after meeting someone. I also thought I had heard the name "Robert Garwood" before. But I passed off the thought of name recognition as possibly confusing him with someone I'd briefly known over the years.
I saw Robert again a few days later. This time we had a long conversation while standing out in front of our houses. After a brief mournful monologue about the way his late wife had died, he started talking about himself. I clearly remember various claims he made during this conversation including:
- He was close friends with then-Senator Bob Smith (R-NH). Robert claimed I would one day get to meet him when the Senator came for a visit.
- He was close friends with actor Ralph Macchio and his wife. Robert claimed I would one day get to meet them when they came for a visit.
- He was close personal friends with the movie actor Kirk Douglas and family. Once again, I would one day meet them when they came for a visit.
- He was a leading member of the Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Group (even though he didn’t own a motorcycle). He explained I would have the chance to meet them all when they had rallies on his property. I distinctly remember being not excited about major motorcycle rallies being held next door.
- He was a former Vietnam veteran. He made vague claims about being with Special Forces doing vague mysterious things in Vietnam during and long after the war ended. I distinctly remember the knowing, sly look he gave me when he cryptically said “not everybody left Vietnam after the war ended.”
- He had many close friends among Vietnam Veterans groups and the MIA/POW movement. He talked about these groups a though he was a leading figure. He claimed I would have frequent chances to meet other veterans. He explained that as a navy veteran myself, although not a Vietnam combat veteran, I would be most welcomed among his many veteran friends.
I remember being intrigued by his claims, but also thought they sounded way too much like bullshit.
My normal personality is to always give a person the benefit of doubt when first meeting them, and let their subsequent actions be the judge. With Robert, on this first meeting, I was already suspicious of him. But I kept my thoughts to myself. In talking with Marilou that evening, I jokingly told her that with a wealthy Hollywood movie producer as next-door neighbor, our lives were about to change.
I could not possibly have known just how horribly correct I was.
;Chapter 2
Over the next several weeks he spent a lot of time hanging around us, particularly Marilou, and hanging with the neighbors on his other side, Cris and Valerie. Cris was still active-duty navy assigned to a ship home ported in Pascagoula, and Valerie was a stay-at-home-mom caring for their little boy. Around Marilou and Valerie, Robert routinely relayed long mournful monologues about his late wife. Around me, and when Cris was with us, Robert would offer a brief monologue about his wife then move on to stories about Vietnam, the MIA/POW movement, and his time in Hollywood.
He also had continuous complaints about the former owners of his house. He claimed they had cheated him by taking more plants and yard fixtures than they were supposed to under terms of their sale. Robert claimed he and Cathi had gone out of their way to be nice to them by letting them stay in the house several months after the sale, and the former owners returned kindness by stealing from him. Robert also claimed he had purchased the house well below market value by going directly through the Casino which held the gambling debts, and there had been some mysterious legal issues while dealing with the Casino.
In befitting his status as recent widower, Marilou and Valerie alternated bringing him home-cooked meals. Robert started making frequent requests for assistance around his house, particularly to Marilou. I didn’t immediately object as I considered that helping him was part of being a good neighbor.
In late April, about the same time Robert moved in, Marilou's mom Lourdes had moved in with us from San Diego. Lourdes was not in good health and we quickly became her mom’s near-full time care giver. Helping out Robert added to Marilou’s already considerable stress of providing for her mom’s care, working full time at a retail department store, and managing our house.
Robert's house had an especially nice pier into the bayou behind our homes. The previous owners kept to themselves and never allowed anyone onto their property. Robert, as soon as he moved in, gave us an open invite to use the pier for fishing and hanging out. This quickly became the place for Marilou and me to hang out and visit with Robert.
Robert had also met my other next-door neighbor, Beth, shortly after moving in. Beth was an older woman (older than me) who had become a widow just over a year earlier. Initially, she would hang with Marilou and Valerie out in the street talking with Robert. Then, after an afternoon chat out on Robert’s pier, she abruptly refused to have anything more to do with him. Robert later made frequent claims Beth had made a pass at him, and he turned her down.
It was nearly a year before Beth told me that Robert had made a crude and straight-up pass at her that she flat rejected while they were out on his pier that afternoon.
Robert left Gautier in mid-June, heading back to his former house in Seattle, Washington in his RV. He had explained that he would be spending several months in Seattle and in Hollywood, California on business. Before he left he initiated a massive remodeling project.
He claimed that as a bachelor he needed to make the house comfortable for himself, not a "monument" to his deceased wife. His remodeling included replacing a large wood deck in the back of his house with poured concrete and brick, building a very large brick two car garage and workshop with an enlarged concrete driveway and RV parking pad, all new kitchen cabinetry, replacing all the carpeting with ceramic tile and repainting the house’s interior.
Before he left he asked Marilou and I to watch over the contractors, and he made arrangements to call us as needed to handle some of the details. He explained he would be talking with the contractors frequently to be sure they were doing the work correctly and on schedule. He also asked Cris and Valerie to closely monitor his contractors. Cris once told me Robert actually had Cris routinely handle payment transactions with the contractors. I thought this was a lot to be asking from people he had just met.
Robert returned sometime around late August. His remodeling project was far from complete and in total chaos.
Immediately upon return, Robert made charges of being cheated by his contractors over materials he paid for but never received, and complained of paying for work that never was completed. Garwood claimed he had given his bank account number and direct withdrawal authorization to the head contractor, who subsequently drained his account way in excess of the work contracted for. This made no sense to me as he had authorized our neighbor Cris to handle his contractor finances.
In Robert's defense, it was apparent to me that most of the work that was done was substandard. But my sympathy was limited as I lived with the guiding principle; “You get what you inspect, not what you expect.” Having just survived a major remodeling project of our own the year prior, I felt Robert had been extremely foolish running a project of his magnitude from half-way across the U.S.
Robert also claimed to be missing workshop equipment and accused various contractors of being the thieves. Robert claimed that after he filed police reports, the subsequent police investigations revealed that the contractor had no contractor’s license, numerous complaints with the Better Business Bureau, and prior legal actions pending from arrest warrants issued in Alabama.
Over the next several months Marilou and I heard a constant stream of complaints and charges against the various contractors he had hired. It seemed as if everyone he hired went out of their way to rip him off with outrageous prices on shoddy workmanship, and when Robert refused to pay them, they spitefully filed workman’s liens against him. Meanwhile, Robert hired some general handymen and had them working under his direct supervision finishing his many home improvement projects.
Robert didn't have a job and I frequently wondered where his money came from. He had told us he and Cathi paid cash for his house but still owned a house back in Seattle. He had dumped a lot of money into remodeling his house over the summer. He now had anywhere from three to four people working for him daily, for several months. He also explained that his Class "A" RV was fully paid for.
;Chapter 3
After he returned from his summertime trip Robert became a constant visitor at our house. When he wasn't at our house, Marilou was at his, with me often joining her. We began to routinely invite him over for dinner and evening socializing. During our visits, Robert regaled us with endless monologues. When he wasn’t complaining about his former contractors, his various storylines included veiled, mysterious references about his time in Vietnam.
I listened to monologues which described him variously working with the CIA, U.S. Special Forces, Marine Reconnaissance and the Green Berets. He described even more mysterious references to military work he'd done in-country long after the Vietnam War ended.
He made fairly consistent claims of being a former Marine, but he never admitted to his rank when he left the Corps or how much time he actually spent on active duty. When I asked him when he retired, Robert made some vague answers of “a long time ago” and changed the subject.
To listen to him talk, I could easily have thought he honorably retired from active military duty after 20 years as a senior non-com or junior officer. Despite the many stories he told about Vietnam, he never once talked about being a POW. He also talked at length about working in Hollywood after he left the military.
Robert told many stories about working with Kirk Douglas and the Douglas family. He continually dropped names of other actors, actresses, directors and producers he claimed to have worked with, met, or were close friends with. He talked about movie productions he claimed to have worked on. It wasn't too long before he started slyly telling Marilou and me that he could introduce us to "the right people" and get us good jobs in Hollywood “if we were interested.”
Robert routinely complained about the family of his late wife Cathi, describing them as evil people who expected to gain more inheritance than she left to them. Robert claimed they were filing lawsuits and legally harassing him over the inheritance, and were doing everything possible to make his life miserable instead of honoring the wishes of his deceased wife.
Robert also started complaining about a Vietnamese lady living in Biloxi who was harassing him and attempting to force Robert to marry her. Robert claimed he had befriended this woman because she was lonely; she misunderstood his intentions and “somehow” developed the idea they would marry. In Robert's stable of canned monologues, her attempts to harass him into marriage just became one more somewhat amusing (to me) story line.
The more time I spent around Robert and heard his canned complaints and monologues, the less impressed I became with him. His stories seemed to contradict each other. For example; based on his various accounts, Robert was simultaneously working for the CIA, Army Special Forces and Marine Reconnaissance in Vietnam while simultaneously working in Hollywood for the Douglas Family. Significant details of his stories changed with each retelling. Robert always seemed to be victimized one way or another as a result of selflessly assisting someone. All his stories began to sound the same and they all sounded phony.
Another annoyance was his not paying attention to the time while talking in monologue for hours on end. Several times Robert droned on until 3:00 AM on a weeknight when I had to be at work by 7:00 AM in the morning. As much as I always try to be a good host, I finally started running him out of our house on my schedule, not his.
We were not the only family Robert socialized with. His other neighbor Valerie was also constantly over at his house during the day with her son. Between Marilou and Valerie the two ladies were almost in competition over who would spend the most time with him. At first I was bemused, as I had never seen Marilou act this way for anybody. But then she was spending so much time next door I began to feel annoyed.
Marilou was spending so much time at Robert's it was difficult for me to even call her at our house during the day. Marilou “solved” that problem by purchasing a wireless telephone with a range that could pick up our calls all the way down to Robert's pier, or from inside his house. At Marilou's suggestion, we also purchased a cell phone she could keep in her car, for her given reason that she would have some security on her drives home from work late at night.
Looking back on this period of time, it seemed as though Robert had taken over our lives. Somehow, whatever he needed at any given moment became the goals and responsibility of everyone around him. More than once, I found myself dropping whatever plans I had made to help him out with some sudden crisis, or stopped whatever I was doing just to listen to his endless monologues about Vietnam, Hollywood, or the latest person who was cheating him.
I observed Cris and Valerie, especially Valerie, doing similar things for Robert. I began to hear from Beth that Valerie was spending at least as much time with Robert as Marilou was. Perhaps even more time, as Marilou was working as retail sales associate and Valerie was always home during the day with her son. Robert apparently became a hero to Valerie and a “bigger-than-life” figure to their little boy.
For me, Robert went from being a welcomed guest to an annoyance. Had it not been for Marilou I would have stopped socializing with him. Unfortunately, Marilou was still impressed with him and kept inviting him over. Despite my annoyance I decided not to speak out. I still never suspected anything was going on other than Marilou spending all her free time socializing with a neighbor. After the years of navy life we had, and the years of trust we had built up, I didn't feel any reason to be suspicious of her.
I also knew that Marilou would need to figure out for herself that Robert was not what he claimed to be. I fully expected that she was capable of seeing for herself the same things I had seen in Robert. That thought proved to be so very wrong.
;Chapter 4
I had briefly seen Robert's large arsenal of rifles and firearms while he was moving in and getting settled down, but didn't think too much about it. This was Mississippi, after all. However, one day in early fall agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) paid Robert a “visit” and thoroughly searched his house, but didn't find the guns. Later, Robert claimed that his in-laws had made wild charges against him which led to the visit.
In addition to Robert’s RV, he had a large Ford Pickup Truck, a 3/4 ton Van, and a small white Honda compact car that had once been Cathi's car. Even with his large driveway there was no room to park all these vehicles. Cris and Valerie had an RV parking pad they didn't use, built by a former owner of their house, and they allowed Robert to park his RV on their property. After the ATF visit, Robert mentioned he was storing his guns in the RV and so the ATF never found them.
During the fall the local police also made periodic visits to Robert's house. In fact, the local police were at Robert's house more in several weeks than I had previously seen in our entire neighborhood for the past several years. When I asked Robert about the visits, he vaguely claimed concerned fights with the former contractors or Robert’s in-laws. He frequently claimed that the Gautier Police were harassing him for reasons Robert never could seem to define.
In early October I met two people who Robert frequently talked about; Mark Smith (Major, USA, Ret) and Tom McKenny (Colonel, USMC, Ret). They were visiting with Robert one evening when I happened to stop by. It was apparent from the introductions that that Robert had told them a lot about us and how much we had helped him. I distinctly remember Mark saying to me "Thank you for everything you've done for our brother." Tom McKenny seconded those thanks, and I learned that he lived in a nearby town.
I felt proud that evening. I have a deep belief that former military people need to take care of each other. Receiving Mark and Tom's thanks that evening almost made up for the many nights I had sat up until 3:00 AM entertaining Robert.
It wasn’t until late October that I learned Robert's true past. One day after I returned home from work Marilou met me at the door and announced breathlessly "He's someone famous." While at Robert's house that day she had spotted a book about him that was sent for his autograph. Intrigued, I got on the Internet and did a search on his name. Dozens of references popped up.
I spent that evening briefly reading about Robert's time in Vietnam, the court martial, claims and counter-claims about who was telling the truth and who was lying. I learned about the relationship between himself and Tom McKenny. After reading through some especially vicious newsgroup posts, I decided I would not judge him on what or may not have happened 30 years prior. But now I also knew that he had been lying to us during his endless monologues about the time spent in Vietnam and Robert’s military career.
I advised Marilou to not let on that we knew about his true past. My stated reason was to let Robert make a fresh start for himself here, and not judge him by his past. My real, unspoken, reason was to learn just what other stories Robert would spin. I no longer trusted him, and all things being equal would have avoided him. Regrettably, Marilou now considered him "bigger than life" and if anything spent more time around Robert than before.
Ironically, my research also proved that Robert had in fact spent time working in Hollywood, and did work for the Douglas family for several years. This gave Marilou an excuse to at least believe Robert’s Hollywood stories and his connections with producers, directors, actors and actresses.
I later discovered that Cris and Valerie had known of Robert's past almost from their first meeting. Cris had also come to the decision to let Robert make a new life for himself, and not judge based on what may have happened in the past. None of our other neighbors knew anything about Robert, other than what they saw of him while hanging around the neighborhood.
In late November Lourdes had the opportunity to travel back to the Philippines and visit her family. She was too frail to travel by herself so family friends who were traveling agreed to escort her there and back. Lourdes was scheduled to return in mid-January with her travel companions, but after several weeks visit decided to stay longer. So now we needed to find some way to help Lourdes return home early in the spring.
One evening shortly after Lourdes left, visiting at our house, Robert asked me about the local "Asian" massage parlors in front of Marilou. At that time there were two "Asian" massage parlors operating in our area, both commonly known to be fronts for prostitution. Robert had to know this before asking me. I felt annoyed and wondered why he thought I had any personal knowledge of those places - I didn't - and why he would even consider asking me such a question in front of Marilou. I now suspect he was now starting to hit on Marilou and drive a subtle wedge between Marilou and me.
By mid-December, he was routinely flirting with Marilou in front of me. He was also frequently telling her how easy it would be for her to land a great job in Hollywood, with clear implication he could make that happen. I let things roll as I still trusted Marilou, believing she would not let herself be taken in by Robert. But I also noticed that over time she was increasingly vocal in defending Robert against any criticism I made of him, and I began to feel stirrings of concern about her.
Shortly before the Christmas holidays, Robert made a trip back to Hollywood to meet with director Oliver Stone. Robert explained that Oliver Stone was going to make a movie about the Vietnam War and was interested in making Robert a technical consultant. When he returned Robert excitedly announced that Oliver Stone was "definitely" going to make the movie. He informed us that Oliver Stone had hired him during the meeting as technical consultant for the film. Robert explained that parts of the movie were to be made in the Philippines during the coming spring, and hinted there might be a potential job for Marilou during the filming phase.
Marilou and I had a quiet Christmas holidays together. Christmas day we celebrated with long-time friends; Robert was not at dinner with us even though Marilou had invited him. New Year’s Eve 2000 was celebrated at home, and at midnight Marilou and I slow-danced to Kenny G's "Auld Lang Syne: The Millennium Mix," welcoming in the new year.
It would be the last time Marilou and I ever danced together.
;Chapter 5
My job had been rocky for many months due to serious personality conflicts between myself and a better-connected co-worker. After the holidays our conflict took a turn for the worse and I could foresee job hunting in my near future. The issue of jobs was now being frequently discussed during evening conversations between Robert, Marilou and I. What I remember is that for all Robert's talk about getting Marilou a job in Hollywood, he never once made me any offers of referrals or job leads with Hollywood-based companies. But, I would not have believed him if he had.
By now, I was convinced that Robert’s claims of Hollywood greatness were as much crap as his stories of Vietnam. I occasionally gave my opinions to Marilou, and every time she became strongly defensive of Robert. So then I kept my opinions to myself, with the thought that at some point Marilou would have to see the truth. However, this created a conflict that became a wedge between us.
Lourdes was still in the Philippines and waiting for someone to help her get back home. Marilou and I began to make tentative plans to travel to the Philippines for two weeks, visit with her family, and bring Lourdes back with us. Although we had been married 14 years I never had the chance to meet her family back in the Philippines. But with my job looking increasingly unstable we didn’t know how we were going to be financially able to make the trip. The issue of getting Lourdes home became another stress on top of everything else we were dealing with in our marriage.
One evening in late January Robert asked me to follow him out to an auto repair shop 30 miles from our house, to give him a ride home after leaving his car there for servicing. After we left the shop Robert invited me to dinner - the first time he'd ever offered to treat for anything. During dinner, he talked a lot about Marilou and her potential for a career in Hollywood. He told me about his upcoming project working for director Oliver Stone, which he claimed would be filmed mostly in the Philippines.
The point of the dinner and conversation became clear when he asked me if I would have a problem with Marilou working for him on this project. Robert explained this would be an ideal chance for Marilou to get out to the Philippines all expenses paid for several months. Robert also claimed that, as Marilou was so smart and industrious; the project could lead to her getting other Hollywood jobs. He was vague as to what position she would actually have with the project. Robert claimed that on any major movie production, there was so much money floating around leading individuals (which on this project would include him) could hire personal assistants without specifying the duties in advance.
I agreed with him that it would be great for Marilou to get a new career, and it would be great if she could be back in her native country for a while. I already believed him to be a complete fraud but I still played along. Even though I had no expectation that Robert could actually get Marilou the job he claimed he could, I wanted to see what his game was. I now suspect Robert was testing me to determine just how gullible I was.
Later that night, back at home, I told Marilou what transpired during dinner. I did not tell her I believed Robert to be a fraud, but presented what he told me as though Robert could actually deliver what he offered. It was my belief that this was the only way for Marilou to recognize Robert was just spinning out fantasies, and get her to recognize what I already knew.
I also told Marilou that I trusted her on a job that would take her out of the country and away from me for a long period of time. From the sudden strange look she gave me, I knew something was very wrong.
We invited Robert over for movies and popcorn one Saturday evening in early February. After the movie, as he was getting ready to leave, he "remembered" he didn't have a flashlight with him and it was pretty dark outside. We loaned him one of our flashlights; he went over to his house, got one of his, and came back to the house to return ours.
Marilou met him by the door while I was in our bedroom getting ready for bed. When she came into our bedroom her face was flushed and she had an expression I'd never before seen on her. I now believe she and Robert had a rather serious good-night kiss at our front door.
;Chapter 6
My job situation continued to deteriorate. In late February the conflicts with my co-worker came to a head and I was put into a situation I could not live with. Early Friday morning, February 23, 2001, I walked into my supervisor’s office and handed in my letter of resignation. I cleared out my desk and by 9:00 AM I returned home unemployed. When I came into the house I discovered Robert sitting in our kitchen talking with Marilou. I announced my new status among the unemployed and we talked for a while about possible job options.
One subject I discussed was in joining the merchant marine. I had already been job hunting and among other options had been talking with merchant marine recruiters. I had learned about the Merchant Marine’s two to four week sea-shore rotation schedules and the pay scales that were better than any other career prospect open to me in our area. During this discussion Marilou expressed support of my joining the merchant marines, on the grounds that going to sea was something I loved. It came time for her to get ready for work on the afternoon shift, so we said goodbye and Robert and I walked out into my backyard. On my way out I grabbed the long-range wireless telephone (the one Marilou had purchased several months earlier) just in case a job prospect called.
Robert and I walked around the backyard talking about my reasons for quitting, and my prospects for new job. It was a beautiful day and all the windows in both our houses were open for the fresh air. After a few minutes Robert excused himself and went into his house. A moment later I heard a phone ring. Thinking it was our phone ringing, and thinking Marilou had already left for work, I answered up on the wireless telephone I was carrying.
The first words I heard was Marilou's whispered "I Love you." Then I heard Robert answering back with some inane comment. I stood there for a moment, uncomprehending. Their romantic banter continued. Then I did understand, and with understanding felt as if I'd stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. I was totally paralyzed, waves of shock running up and down my body holding me as immobile as stone while Robert and Marilou continued to banter with each other.
I heard Robert say "It's going to be hard for a while, with Ron home all the time these next weeks. Hopefully he'll get another job soon." And then "You know, if Ron goes back to sea and is gone two weeks at a time we can have a lot of fun." I heard Marilou agreeing with him and whispering some more romantic nothings. I finally recovered enough from my paralysis to disconnect the phone.
I stood in the yard trying to come to terms with what I had just heard. Robert nonchalantly walked back out of his house a few minutes later just as Marilou called me in the house. Marilou and I had a few words as I attempted to act as though nothing was wrong, then Marilou left for work. I went back outside, chatted a few moments with Robert, trying to clear my head, attempting to pretend nothing was wrong, and then Robert left.
Robert went into hiding - I didn't see him again for about one week.
I spent the rest of the day thinking hard, trying to decide what to do. It was obvious now that Robert and Marilou were having an affair, but I simply did not know how to deal with it. I finally decided that I owed Marilou a chance to work things out. She nonchalantly returned home much later than normal that evening. I confronted her with overhearing their morning conversation, and Marilou immediately protested that it meant nothing other than "just talk." Marilou denied anything was going on between her and Robert other than a lot of talk.
It's now apparent to me that she had returned home late because she had been talking with him via cell phone after she left work.
We talked a long time, but Marilou continued her denials of any affair. Marilou did confess that Robert had recently given her some jewelry as a gift. She even showed two pieces to me; they were expensive 18 carat gold with inset gems. I asked her to give it back and she promised she would. I never asked her about the jewelry again, and I honestly do not know what ever happened to it.
I ended our talk by telling Marilou that Robert was no longer welcomed in our house, and demanded that she avoid him. The one honest thing Marilou said to me that long night was that she did not understand Robert's "draw." She admitted she could not understand why he attracted her so much.
Robert reappeared a week later, out and about in his yard as before. When I was close to his property line he'd drift over and attempt to chat with me as if nothing had ever happened. I didn’t invite him over to my house ever again. Within days, Marilou was back visiting with him at every opportunity. When I pushed the issue, Marilou became indignant. She insisted they were only friends and she had the right to socialize with whomever she wanted to.
;Chapter 7
Over the next several weeks I was busy job hunting. My schedule was sporadic with job interviews, researching job openings, and using my free time to catch up on household chores. On a regular basis, I'd return home from job-hunting and discover Marilou and Robert out on his back patio talking.
In addition to his many vehicles, Robert had three center-console boats in about the 16 to 24 foot range, each on its own trailer, parked under a large shed in his backyard. The largest boat, a Boston Whaler and Robert’s professed favorite, looked in pretty good condition but the smallest boat was a wreck. Robert explained that a friend had given the small boat to him to fix up.
As the weather became warmer Robert started to get his mid-sized boat ready for the season, with Marilou’s help. She ended up spending nearly three straight days at Robert's house working with him him. As much as I wanted to avoid Robert, I became drawn into the project simply because I had to go there to have any chance of talking with Marilou.
After several days work, the boat was ready and Robert decided to take it out on the Pascagoula River for an evening run. He “casually” invited Marilou and me to go with him and I knew something had been planned. Although they both acted like this was a spur of the moment idea, he and Marilou both dressed up before we took the boat to the nearby launch. I had on a pair of dirty coveralls I'd been wearing while working in the yard that day. Marilou wanted me to change; I refused on reason that we were only “taking the boat out for a spin.”
Once out on the river, Robert "spontaneously" suggested we pull into a riverside marina with a nice pier-side bar and restaurant offering live entertainment, which happened to be one of the nicest such places in Gautier. It was the type of place that he and Marilou were dressed for, not me.
As we pulled up to the pier at the marina I went forward to handle the mooring lines. I was standing on the bow as we made our approach and somehow sensed “something” was going to happen. I tightened my grip on the line, already secured to the boat's cleats, as we drifted slowly up to the pier. Sure enough, just as we came close to the pier and I was ready to step across Robert threw the boat into a full power backing. I saved myself from being thrown overboard only because of my tight grip on the lines. The power backing was totally unnecessary for boat handling, and if I had not had a tight grip on the lines I would have been dumped into the water.
I continue to believe Robert deliberately attempted to dump me overboard that evening.
At the marina we ordered some food and drinks. With the perspective of many dinners we had previously hosted for him, the several days Marilou and I had spent helping him prep the boat, and that I had been out of work for several weeks, Robert let us pay for everything.
Easter Sunday came about a week after this boating event. Marilou and I always celebrated Easter with family friends at their home, and this year Marilou insisted they invite Robert as well. Her reason was she didn't want him to "be lonely" at Easter. Despite all the friends he claimed to have around the coast, it seemed no one else wanted to invite him for Easter dinner.
True to form, Robert went to our friend’s house empty-handed even though I made a point of letting him know potluck was expected. During dinner Robert talked endlessly about his experiences in Vietnam, Hollywood and still complained about his former contractors. No stories new to me, but Robert's monologues dominated the conversation throughout the afternoon.
After weeks of unemployment I finally landed a job at a near-by shipyard starting shortly after Easter. This put me back on a 7:30 to 4:30 Monday to Friday work schedule. Right after I started my new job, Marilou’s work schedule suddenly changed to where she was working three weekday afternoon/nights and both days on weekends.
At various times during that spring we were visited by Marilou's aunt from San Diego (younger sister to Lourdes), Marilou's cousin from New Jersey, My mom, and my dad. Every visitor except my Dad met Robert. I never said anything to anybody about Marilou and Robert's affair. Besides not having the proof I needed, I still had honest hopes of saving our marriage. I knew that the more Marilou's affair became public knowledge the more it would be difficult to reconcile. I also knew that making accusations now, before I had solid proof, would blow back against me. I had to wait until I could either prove the affair, or until I could find a way to reconcile with Marilou.
Of all our visitors that spring, my mom was the only one who later told me not to trust Robert and was the only one who expressed concern to me about Marilou spending so much time around him. Leave it to a "mother's instincts" to notice things.
One discussion I thought particularly interesting was between Robert and Marilou's New Jersey cousin. Marilou and her cousin met him on his back patio, with me in earshot, and Robert treated them to a one-hour monologue about himself. This time, he talked mysteriously about his work in Hollywood, dealing with the Hollywood mafia, and his connections with the CIA. Afterward, I asked Marylou's cousin, in private, her impressions of Robert. Her reply was that, based on his talk, she felt he was deeply involved with the mafia and various criminal groups. She also believed, based on his monologue, Robert was a big-time Hollywood executive.
After several weeks in my new job it was obvious that Marilou and Robert were having a torrid affair. Robert pretended nothing was going on, and was actually pretty good about pretending. Marilou was also pretending but was not very good at it, and I could see her becoming more distant from me each passing day. I decided I needed to force things out in the open.
Due to limitations of the web software this site is built on, this story has been broken into two parts. You may follow the conclusion of this narrative in Part II.
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